Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Walruses, Dragons, and Ceiling Wax

As a child, I had two exposures only to the concept of "Sealing Wax".

1. The Walrus and the Carpenter

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax
Of cabbages and kings."

2. Puff the Magic Dragon

"Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff."

Now, as a young child raised in a world of self-adhesive envelopes, I had no idea what they were talking about, and assumed that "Ceiling Wax" was the way that you were able to paint the ceiling without all the paint sliding off.

I was embarrassingly old before I retroactively realized what the song and poem were talking about.

My question, though, is when exactly was the last time Americans regularly used Sealing Wax?
Whitewashing Infanticide

It was a throwaway line on this morning's Morning Edition, that I have returned to listening to now that the Pledge Drive is over (Yes, I'm a member. Maybe they should give Member-Chips out with your membership that you can stick on your radio so you don't have to hear the Pledge Drive drivel. Also, didn't the Pledge Drive used to be called "Pledge Week"? Now it's about 10 days. . . )

Anyway, the story was about sex trafficking in Asia, and I was only half listening because, you know, I had to merge and stuff. But the line struck me, sort of the way you always hear your name in a crowd, even if you weren't listening to the conversation. Chinese men had been importing foreign brides "because of China's one child policy."

Well, China's one-child policy certainly decreases the number of available brides, but without anything else, woudn't one assume that it would cut down the number of available groom by almost exactly the same amount, so it would even out and all the heterosexuals could pair up in wedded bliss?

Well, no. Because China's one-child policy led to widespread female infanticide and gender selecting abortions as parents aided fate along toward getting a male heir.

Essentially, the Chinese man can't find a wife because his parents killed his older sister, causing the man who would have married the sister to instead marry another woman, leaving that woman unavailable for our "only child."

Blaming the One-Child Policy might be right from an Original Cause perspective, but it elides over the mass murder taking place in China.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Fun With Anagrams
Compassionate Conservative = Conspire to Save a Vast Income.

President John F. Kerry = Short, Jerky Penfriend (or Frothed, Jerky Spinner)

Doctor Howard Dean = Too Drown'd Charade.

Federal Marriage Amendment = Render Amalgamated Firemen

Mars Spririt Rover = Prim Sorts Arrive

Alex Rodriguez, Yankee = Analogize, Exude Kerry

Mel Gibson's Passion = Pleasing Sin's Bosom

Thursday, February 12, 2004

100 Years of Bloomsday

Or so the headlines tell us. The book was actually written in 1917. It was SET on June 16, 1904, so Joyce essentially got the first 13 years of the Centenary for free.

Remind me when I write my novel to set in 98 years in the past. That way, after it goes off the best seller list, it can go right back on for its "Centenary."

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